Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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