So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am one with the molecules
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize