I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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