If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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