oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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