Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
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2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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