im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize