Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize