cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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