If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize