You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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