glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize