But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
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it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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