Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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