i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize