I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize