Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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