All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize