i just made my gag reflex go away.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
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How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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