So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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