Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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