This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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