I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
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i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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