I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize