Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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