i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize