You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
