why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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