Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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