I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize