Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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