Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize