Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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