On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm like, not good at living.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize