Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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