Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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