he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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