i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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