Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Two words: nipple clamps
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