I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize