Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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