don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My penis needs a shock collar
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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