The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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