i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize