Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize