she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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