i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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