Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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