I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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