i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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