and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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